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Friday Inspiration - 22 August 2008
By Melissa Bult

Romantic Relatioships
Because it is at the front of my mind this week I want to talk about Romantic Relationships.  Or as some might put it our Romantic Delusions!  We have a lot of stigma tied to the idea of romance, soul mates and love but do we really know the purpose of coming together with another human being in a relationship? 
Many of us spend our whole life waiting for the soul mate to come and save us and make everything ok and if we already have our soul mate we spend our time trying to make sure they remain so.  The ego would have you believe that romantic love, that love and approval of another will make you complete, happy and ok.   But much of what we believe love to be is simply an illusion created to keep us from connecting to a much higher source of love.  A source that would free us from our relationship anxiety and our need to get someone into our lives and keep them there, in order to feel ok. 
Now, I am not cynical, I love the idea of romance but I am not tied to it being my salvation.  You see the whole purpose of any relationship including a romantic one is that it is an assignment for both parties to learn and grow on behalf of God (or whatever you choose to call it).  The source of love that we are really seeking is our connection to God or the All.  We are built to love as God loves which is to love all of life equally.  There will of course be variation within the types of relationships we have (it does not mean you go out and sleep with everyone you meet) but we choose to see all relationships as Holy relationships rather than putting a label on one relationship as special. 
The ‘special’ relationship is the one the ego would have you create, the idea that this one special person will make your life complete.  The ‘Holy’ relationship is one that is surrendered to God’s highest purpose for you, it has a much bigger purpose than to simply fulfill your romantic desires. 
Relationships bring up any wounds we have that need to be healed.  This is a beautiful and purposeful experience that the Universe has sent you but how often do we feel those wounds come up and we run for the hills!  We unconsciously seek relationships that will challenge us to heal and we must decide if we are brave enough to embrace them. 
Enchanted love is what we want to choose for ourselves.  Love that brings up the best and the worst of us has the higher purpose of being spiritual and may not necessarily be practical. 
We spend lots of time praying for it to arrive and then we it does we find ourselves afraid to embrace it and close the door on the opportunity.  The Holy relationship has nothing to do with the past or the future and everything to do with the moment.  It is not concerned with whether you will get married, live together, sleep together, have babies etc… its entire purpose is for you to experience yourself and God through another. 
Rather than attaching your ideas about how a person should be or how you think the relationship should be, you can ask to be guided and surrender the relationship up to a higher purpose.   We can see through the illusions of our views on love and open ourselves up to remembering that only love is real.   Ask yourself this question ‘What is more important, that he/she calls me tonight or that this relationship serves a Holy purpose?’   It is not the form of the relationship that is important but that you wish each other peace. 
This is a prayer from Marianne Williamson’s book ‘Enchanted Love’
Dear God,
We surrender this relationship to You and ask that it be used for Your purposes. 
May our resources and talents and energies and love be pooled and lifted up in Your service. 
May we become together even more than we are apart.
May the light around us forever shine.
May the space of our love be a space of healing for ourselves and all the world.
Have a beautiful weekend.  All my love to you all.
Melissa x
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